The Minuet
by Fabie
Summary: The Witch's recount of her life added with some sparks and detail of my own. ElphabaFiyero.
1. Prolouge

I am a fool.

No, don't argue. Please don't. Let me first explain, and then you will have nothing left to say. You won't be able to look at me - oh, it's not easy now, for certain - my vertigris being such a distasteful color. And my hair, oh I haven't brushed it in days ... perhaps it has leaves tangled in it from falling, falling from the sky. My eyes are too sharp - yes, I know, they are big and dark with too-long lashes and a permenantly dark frame, looking like I'm obssesive with eyeliner. And not mention the sharp angle of my nose, my face, my very limbs. You must notice that it looks as though I barely eat - these days, it's quite true. I have no appetite.

Did I ever like _anything_ about me? Anything at all? That's a peculiar question. Everyone has something they must like.

I can tell you what it was, with me. Fiyero. And don't laugh, don't scowl either. I _know_ it was wrong, that's what I've been trying to say! I'm trying to explain.

You meant about my looks, though. Please! Why must we, as a human race- yes, I am human - be so obssesed with the outside of things. This fictional thing called beauty ... it could be the very thing that put me on the path to this destruction. Yes, I'll tell you why...

But, oh, alright! My lips, I suppose. Strange, isn't it? But the color is always vibrant, strangely a bright-red in such contrast to the green in my skin. In theory, the combination looks odd... but I like it.

Why does it matter? ... You won't answer me.

Fine, I'll begin my story, which isn't really worth hearing anyway. You should just accept the pure facts.

I'm wicked now, and wicked I will stay.


	2. Dear Old Shiz

Note: I don't own Wicked.

_Thank you to all reviewers, and yes, I've finally moved the story._

If you really want to pinpoint the exact spot where it started going downhill for me, you'd have to travel to the horrors of my youth. However, I don't remember back that far, so it will just have to begin with my days at Shiz University.

Yes. Shiz University... they tore it down years ago, did they? You remember it well, then...? Oh. Your _daughter_ wanted to go there. Okay.

I'm getting too reminiscent, this is _insane_. But it's been such a long time, forgive me.

When I arrived at Shiz, it was like any other place in every single way. Odd stares, frowns, ignorance, and swift reject. I was stuck in a dorm with you, then an insufferable girl...

Oh, don't argue about that either. I'm just telling a story, this isn't a confessional. I'm trading secrets, just like you asked. Though I must say, I don't know why _I_ had to go first. It takes very long, my tale.

You think you already know this part of the story? Dearie, don't be naive just this moment. Please, shh - and don't you lay your hand on my arm like that - I am really not in need of comfort. My eyes are perfectly dry, you can see that. I couldn't hide tears - you know how they burn me.

Back to the story, stop distracting me. It won't do at all.

Well, how I got stuck in there is irrelavant and besides you know it - but I did. We didn't speak for a long time, and to be honest that was perfectly fine for me. You were an airhead. Miss Galinda of the Ardenulands. A beauty but not a brain.

Don't scoff at me. It looks so childish.

Well, we had our troubles, and we were as different as the poles on a magnet. Slowly, startling even myself- I began to like you. You were vibrant, colorful, loved and happy - everything I wasn't.

Oh, Sweet Lurline, why did it have to get so complicated?

We became friends. I don't know if that was a good or bad thing. No one will ever know, truely, what would have happened had we not become something of a... well, a team. Best friends, I suppose, though I'm rare to use such a phrase.

I guess those simplistic days at Shiz made me a little happy. Other things overwhelmed, though, too soon.

Doctor Dillamond and the Animals.

No, no, you know as well as I do. I pronounced the "A", it's Animals. How could you have forgotten? Animals and animals are too different for words, and I'd be ashamed if you ignored it.

It's true, then. We've both done things we regret. But aren't you perfect? Don't answer me, you are. Be quiet now.

I do miss Doctor Dillamond - he was my Mentor, the only Professor I ever liked. Our research - well, his, anyway - could have changed the world. If only I hadn't failed him! If only that meddling Madame Morrible... oh, wishing... I'm doing it again. That is why I am such a fool, why my heart is in a thousand pieces.

Don't look at me like that! Your beautiful eyes are so sad. They don't deserve that, you don't deserve that, and don't you say otherwise.

Doctor Dillamond's death- his _murder_, I should say, though no one believes it - it changed a lot for us, didn't it? I think that is a clearly defined point.

A point of what?

Why, my pretty, it is the point at which it went wrong. Terribly wrong.


	3. Redrum

It was a murder. This much _has_ to be clear to you, by now. Dr. Dillamond, my friend - my _mentor_, was murdered. All because he was a Goat, and so looked down upon. All for his research - whatever it was, it was something the Wizard didn't want finished.

Now, understand though he dictate to me I was only his scribe and understood very little of what I put on the papers. Some of his research is probably burnt, hidden away, or still recklessly left in the bloody, dusty lab. But I keep most of it - I have been trying to understand it for the longest time - it's in this worn old folder, here, yes - the one with the dragon seal. He gave it to me, he said it would protect the papers properly from the weather. And it did end up protecting them - perfectly. It's so overlooked, dank and brown and unimportant ... when they went through the loft, they didn't see it.

No. No, I don't want to talk about that place yet, please...

If you agree upon the murder you must also agree that Grommetik commited it. Don't give me that patronizing stare of yours, it just won't do. I know Grommetik was only a little clockwork thing of Morrible's, made to spy on students ... but he was also her little ... her little minion. She still disgusts me you know, even dead, dead and gone. And good riddance!

I'm sorry. Don't you see what I've become? Do you still want to hear me out? I wouldn't, but then my heart froze long ago. Yours is still so full of warmth. I can feel it beneath my cheek ... just let me lay here a minute more, I could fall asleep so easily and stop thinking about it all. Oh, damn, I think too much.

You're right. I need to empty this away. It won't change what I've become, but I owe it to you.

Do you remember Ama Clutch? She was a sweet thing, wasn't she...?

She went crazy. She saw Grommetik kill Dr. Dillamond, don't you deny it! She told us on her deathbed of the murder, when you cast that spell on her. It brought her right for awhile.

Madame Morrible drove her crazy - some sort of sorcery, and they call me a Witch! Ah, well then, Witch I am if Witch they wish it. That doesn't absolve me, though, I still ... I ...

Oh ... well, I simply ... I simply think I should talk about something comforting now, maybe. Let me muse about you - you always comforted me. Remember how you changed your name, after Dillamond died. When they'd first met, he'd misprounced it- Glinda. And so, as somewhat of a memorial to him, you were Glinda, like one of the Unnamed God's saints ... that one with the Square named after her, and the pretty chapel in the Emerald City.

You changed not only your name. Galinda and Glinda were two seperate people. Galinda, so flighty and self-involved, beautiful and brainless. Glinda - still gorgeous, but mature and thoughtful. Somber for months, then slowly lighter. But you were never quite the Popular you had once been. It helped our friendship develop. Opposites do work well togather ... but Galinda and I ... there was too much distance. You, Glinda, and I, though, our friendship was not flawless, true, but it was ... beautiful. Yes, beautiful, for lack of a better word to describe such a phenomenon.

We were certainly not alike, but we were understood. And I felt love for the first time I can ever remember. It was a breathtaking discovery, really, to feel I could care deeply for another person. I began to doubt I was as soulless as it had once seemed.

Well, so much for that theory.

---

To my dearest darlingest reviewers:

**Sesshomaruobsessed - **thank you. Updates will come rapidly, as I actually have the entire story written. I just have to edit and whatnot.

**Veronika Green - **awwwh! thanks! You flatter me. (And yes, she is.)

**LadyPup - **wow, you really think so? I'm glad, because there are elements of each that are beautiful.


	4. Rain Falls Angry

As for Nessarose, it was a tragic ending she came to. But it was poised and neat and rather something from a fantasy story - just like her. Too bad no one mourns the wicked, eh?

It was hard for me to believe what Nessa had become. My only sister, my fragile little sister, turned into a _tyrant_. She'd become worse than father with her religious garble - she _was_ religion! But then, I suppose this was my fault, wasn't it? Wherever she is, with her Unnamed God or perhaps just dust, she will always blame me.

I left her.

Her!

Aren't you so angry? She acts as if it is all about her. She didn't know me, she didn't know what I was fleeing - it certainly wasn't my crippled, bossy little sister.

Why did she want me around anyone? What was the point of a green sister? I knew she was ashamed of me. She never introduced me as "her sister", she took every opportunity to go alone, and no matter how much slower it would be.

You remember, Nessa's been crippled since birth. Tragic for my family, really. One green, one in a wheelchair. Good thing little brother Shell turned out right - or maybe that's my family's curse, tragedy with birth. My mother did die the night she bore him.

I think Nessa liked Boq, don't you? She gazed at him so adoringly. I think he paid more attention her when you changed, when he lost his infatuation. He was ever so concerned about her, sweet to the very bone.

But Nessa - and I, too - we ruined him. I didn't mean to. I was trying to save his life! Nessa had enchanted that damned axe for some Munchkinland visitor, and it nearly hit Boq while on path to its real target- and I don't think well under pressure!

So Boq is known as the Tin Man now. And he has no love for Milla, his wife, his children - and certainly none for me. He believes me dead, and he rejoices. I begin to think he has lost more than his heart in the change.

My parents were named Melena and Frex. Melena was of the Thropps, which is why Nessa became such a tyrant. You see, the Thropps kind of ... governed Munchkinland from their stronghold at Colwen Gardens. And Nessa eventually gathered so much power she convinced Munchkinland to secede from Oz! Terrible mess, getting it back in after that house fell on her.

Tragic.

Melena was never a mother to me. I am just the same as her in some ways. Nessa wasn't Frex's child - he was a man named Turtle Heart, who passed our house one day and Melena let him in. I think both my parents fell in love with him. I stayed weary. Turtle Heart has given me a looking glass. And it was from him I learned my first word - "Horrors".

I can't exactly say Frex was a terrible father. Or he wasn't always. I think, after he got past the color of my skin, he realized I wasn't sent to punish him - I was his _daughter_. He nicknamed me Fabala, which not a soul ever called me. It made me happy, to have a special nickname. He used to hug me, and be my father. He might have even loved me, once.

But then the rainstorm came. Now, ever since I was little I wouldn't go near water, or let water touch me. I was instinctively afraid.

One day, Frex got so fed up with me - he wanted me to have some fun, dance in the rain or something - he pushed me outside into the light sprinkle.

I had to stay in for days while my fever cooled, while the red welts disappeared.

He never touched me again.

---

_To my reviewers:_

**Veronika Green -** thank you! I like to hear "different".

**IamTheWitch -** Thanks :)

**sesshomaruobsessed **- Thank you

**Yero my hero -** I'm glad you think so. I love to invoke diversity. :)

**Kennedy Leigh Morgan -** Thank you so much! I really like your reviews, they're very descriptive. Give me a good idea of what to write next.


	5. One Short Day

When I did leave - and I swear, I _needed_ to, not that it did much good in the end- I wasn't fleeing Nessa. I wasn't fleeing Boq. And I certainly wasn't fleeing you - you were with me longer than any of the others.

Fiyero? Don't bring him up … of course I wasn't fleeing him. I should have, though.

...Am I too bitter for you, my dear? There are lines around my eyes now, they are thin but existent and they come from too many hours awake in fear, too much anger and pain. Yours, too - but that must be the stressed of being far too _loved_.

That's enough to make anyone bitter.

I was always this way, you think? Always so unsocial, peculiar little Elphaba! Shut up!

I'm sorry. Come, here, Elphaba's arms are safe now. I will never hurt anyone again, especially you. You're all I have left. I swear ... I don't want to hurt anyone.

It was about half a year before graduation, maybe more, it's all slipping away from me now. I wish I could've finished the year; a degree might've been nice. But it wasn't worth it anymore, with Dr. Dillamond gone ... oh, yes, I tolerated that for awhile - but who could stand Professor Nikidik forever?

And Morrible - remember her strange prophecy- was it a prophecy? Even as I talk about it, I forget. Her binding spell is ever in effect then. I cannot fully remember the details of her plan for us - but I swear, it was something ... something about the Wizard! Yes! We were to become his helpers of some sort - like a triangle with you, Nessa, and I.

Part of it came true, didn't it? She said we were to become Witches. You are the Good Witch now, I the unmourned Wicked Witch of the West, and Nessa the deceased Wicked Witch of the East. It's terrible how it turned out that way.

We were all supposed to be good. But tyrants, no? A stronghold in the East - that was to be mine, I was to be the Eminent Thropp, the ruler of Colwen Grounds. This is why I fled. This is why the prophecy faltered. Should I have just gone along with it, forced into a destiny? It would've been better than this ending.

I don't know that?

But don't I, my pretty?

You turned out right. Eminent in the North. Good, revered, loved -and totally under the Wizard's control.

Shh. You know it's the truth.

I took Nessa's place in the West. By default, by some trick of fate. It was all unavoidable - even if we deviated from the plan, it would pull us back in. With punishment.

Kiamo Ko. I miss it. I'd gotten to love it. It was like my own private Castle, Fiyero's old home. I could still ... oh, this just sounds silly! Don't make me go on.

Oh, fine.

I could still feel his presence. His scent still lingered in little traces around the Castle. It never faded. Or perhaps that was a little trick of my mind. Maybe I'm crazy.

It would explain a lot.

I was stupid to try and avoid it. I know that now.

But nevertheless, I fled. To Emerald City! Crazy, isn't it? I fled into the Wizard's very emporium, his capital if you will.

After the others got drunk out of their minds - apparently as a little _remembrance_ to poor Ama Clutch (pshh!) - they decided to try a time at the infamous "Philosophy Club". I shudder to think what they saw. I saw Tibett in his last hours of life. It had ruined him.

How do I possible explain it? I can only call it some deranged sex thing.

You were drunk too, and you know I couldn't let you go with them however hard you whined. I had to protect you. Thank goodness Nessa was smart enough not to have drunk in the first place like me, and wheeled herself back to her dormitory.

So I decided it was then to make my escape to Emerald City. I wanted to see the Wizard - talk to him about Animals and their mistreatment, you see - and be in the heart of it all.

I didn't tell you.

I didn't tell you I wasn't planning on returning. Was that too cruel? You can tell me...

We had a wonderful time. A fantastic day in the City. The only low point was our brief and disconcerting meeting with the Wizard, which I will not mention further since it was rather a waste of time.

Then, came time to board the train back to Shiz. I left you with snacks and two quick kisses. I don't know what you felt. The look on your face was heartbreaking, and that was enough to make me doubt. But I had to go, I _had_ to.

You don't understand why, and to be honest I don't either. It was instinct.

Of course, being the fool that I am, my instinct is never to be trusted.

I spent years undisturbed in Emerald City, immersing myself in my own business, my own future. I found a small loft - nearly bare, but it was all I needed. I had Malky with me, too.

It was strange.

Such change within me and in my world came from my meeting, my friendship with you. And then, to think of what began at Saint Glinda's Chapel. You've always had a hand in my life, my friend, even when you weren't there.

Ironic, isn't it?

I have no soul, and yet he found me at a _chapel_.

---

**Kennedy Leigh Morgan** - Oh, no, all my chapters are already outlined and everything ... I just like to know what readers like. xD


	6. Tiger, My Friend

Even now, it's hard to convince myself I could have resisted.

But I can't blame it all on him.

I never told you how I first met him. It was upon rather odd circumstances, really. Absurd.

It was an ordinary day, any day it could have been, I can't pinpoint a date. I was sitting with Boq in Life Sciences, minding my own damn business and taking notes as I could. Professor Nikidik was mumbling - as usual.

Then, the Professor pulled out this strange bottle and Boq and I were got incredibly confused. We couldn't hear whatever the hell he was saying, and besides, the bottle was _shaking_. Like it contained a tornado.

The door clicked, and in walked the most beautiful boy I'd ever seen in my entire life.

You thought his blue diamonds weird. His skin shade just a little too dark?

Who was_ I_ to be prejudice?

I thought him beautiful, without thinking. I liked him without getting to know enough of him to like. It was all terribly illogical.

Well, anyway, that's certainly not the part that makes our first meeting so terribly odd.

Nikidik opened the bottle.

Yes, that was certainly odd.

The poor, unsuspecting new student came in late, and without any warning Nikidik unscrewed the top and released something resembling a pair of antlers - only, transparent and without any moose attached. They pinned Fiyero to the wall. You see, Fiyero had never been out of the Vinkus before in his life and really wasn't used to such things - like anyone is - but his anxiety? Certainly hyped up.

I swear it was some sort of spell. It was a Life Sciences class, not damned Sorcery!

Sorry, but I've never quite gotten over Dillamond. He was the only Professor capable to teach that class.

In any case, Nikidik didn't seem to know how to stop the thing. Fiyero looked a terrible mixture of embarrassment and fear.

I couldn't help myself.

I was out of my seat in a matter of seconds, Boq hissing at me to control my temper and sit the hell down.

But I wasn't about to let the confused boy get mauled by a pair of magickal antlers! It was simply insane!

So - and I admit now, I must have looked rather like a madwoman - I moved down the aisles in a flurry of black skirts, yelling at Professor Nikidik the whole time. I must say, I was glad to have the floor for once - it was good, seeing Nikidik nothing but stunned and helpless.

I have always possessed a strange ...oh, quirk, let's say. A natural talent for sorcery - well, the power anyway. Focusing it, I was nothing. Precisely the reason why I never _took _sorcery.

I was beginning to regret that.

However, my determination to help Fiyero won out over my logic, and even as I reached the boy the antlers seemed to be evaporating. His eyes met mine - oh, how I nearly fainted ... I could hardly believe such girlish emotions he gave me! - and then he positively collapsed.

I saw his back slump against the door, and he slid down into a sitting position - he was graceful even in wreckage! His eyes closed and suddenly all I could see was the deep intake of breath and the movement of his strong chest as he exhaled.

Foolish. Foolish, foolish Elphaba.

Shooting one last glare at the shocked Nikidik, I enclosed my hand around one of Fiyero's - I had never been shy before, but I was so nervous then, my hand was shaking. For once I was thankful for the pigment of my skin - it held my deep blush from view.

Helping him up, we exited the classroom. Once outside, he fled from me, without even a word spoken between us.

Later, from Boq - or was it Avaric? He was ever the gossip! - I learned that Fiyero was from the Vinkus. They were mostly thought of as a bunch of tribes who never had much to do with Oz, keeping only to their lands.

But lo and behold, our Fiyero was a prince! It sounds so strange, exotic - such a fairytale plot! He was an Arijiki Prince, to be exact. I didn't know what "Arijiki" was - but apparently it explained the diamonds.

After awhile, Fiyero was accepted into our group. Our group of friends? No, not the right word, not at all. It was just a diverse, strange little group, that's all. None of us with anything in common. Not really.

There was Croppe and Tibett - who were obviously head over heels in love with each other and yet insisted on hitting on Boq. The both of them! It drove him crazy. He was just a Munchkinland, destined to be a farmer. There was the gaggle of girls - Milla, Pfanne, and Shenshen. I don't know how they fared, except that Milla became Boq's wife. Are Pfanne and Shenshen as shallow as ever?

There was Nessa - I watched out for her, all the time. It was devotion more than love. I don't think I ever loved her like an older sister should. She was chaste and pestered us constantly about every little sip of every little drink we took.

There was me, Elphaba, antisocial and always looking just a little like I'd rather be somewhere else - anywhere else. And you, of course, beautiful and grinning.

And now Fiyero, sometimes shy, sometimes bold - depending on the topic. Fiyero was a whirlwind. Impossible to figure out, always changing, always with a new creed. I can't describe how many opposites he could stuff into one body! Wise but brainless. Sweet but sharp. Simple but incredibly complex.

I'll stop now. You're probably so sick of my overzealous metaphors, my long - winding descriptions.

I should get to the real story, probably.

You see, I never did anything about Fiyero while in Shiz University. We hardly talked, unless he didn't understand a Life Sciences assignment.

It wasn't until after my years, alone, in the Emerald City, that Fiyero and I spent more than 5 minutes alone together.

We still didn't talk much.

Some things never change.


	7. Paper Bag

**  
**Neither of us had a religion. I never asked if he believed in the Unnamed God, but he always knew I felt there was nothing inside of me to believe.

He asked so many questions.

Elphaba, why are you so secretive?' 'Elphaba, what have you been up to these past years?' 'Elphaba, why do you always disappear in the morning?'

To which I always replied: 'Someday I'll leave for good, and then I'll surely be less real than I am now, my dear'

He never entirely understood me. I cannot blame him, I never let him. Maybe if I had the chance... I'd do it all over again, so differently. Maybe I'd have locked my door and despite his incessant and somehow adorable chatter and knocking, I wouldn't let him in.

Who am I kidding?

I would do it all over again, if only so we're together again. His hands were so strong, but gentle, and his body so warm.

We had a strange relationship.

You looked worried, as if you're expecting me to point out what you already know.

I knew better. We even talked about her, you know, a little while - he told me about what he'd been doing since Shiz. I think he expected me to do the same. He told me about the children, too - he has ... had ... three of them.

Oh, God, I feel awful. No, don't wrap your arms around me, dearie. I deserve some pain. It's called _guilt_.

He was married at the age of eight, betrothed, but that doesn't make me feel any less guilty. Not a bit. Should it? He didn't love her, she didn't love him, and it didn't matter.

Did he love _me_?

Oh, yes, he told me so. I regret never returning the sentiment. I hope he knew anyway. I think he did know me, even if he didn't understand it all, he knew me.

I'd been alone for so long. Malky and I, living in the one-room loft. It was always dusty, and there was never any food except milk for Malky. I ate in cafes or delis. There was a sunken bed, with one thin cover. It wasn't much.

It changed when Fiyero came. I began to clean it - absurd, really. And I stocked the cabinets so we could have dinner together. We always ate in silence.

Maybe we didn't love each other. How can you love someone who you barely ever talk to?

He used to sing to me. He had a beautiful voice, rich and deep, just like him. He lied when he said he was "genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow" - he was too unhappy for that to be true. Didn't he have everything?

I'll never know what it was inside of him that made him want to tear up his life.

I wish I had said no.

I wish I'd never let him in.

I wish I'd never, ever loved him.

Then he'd still be alive today.

---

**Valieara** -Thank you so much! I'm very glad you like it.

**Annibelle White -** I don't know, I just don't think they did quite enough talking for being in a relationship, and when they did they mostly argued over her "job" or his going home. Awwh, don't be sad! 3

**IamTheWitch -** Don't worry, I'll post quick. xD Remember, if you kill the author, there's no more story! ;)


	8. Secrets and Lies

I am cold.

I am all too hot.

But I can never be warm.

Fiyero's business in the Emerald City was to end half a week before the winter.

So why did he stay in my arms, my bed, throughout three freezing months? Our bodies shivering, but still we refused to stay clothed very long. Instead we'd press our bodies together, with only a thin blanket and our winter coats to warm us.

We were _both_ foolish.

Why didn't he go back home, where he was needed?

I wanted him, but I could have lived with out him.

What's that? Oh, funny. You say "I'm not doing so well now". What do you expect? There's a boy of fourteen in the next room waiting for me to grow up enough to help him grow!

I shouldn't get so angry at you. It's not your fault. No, not your fault at all, my pretty little darling.

Your expression is getting impatient. You want to know how exactly things ended up like this? Well, love, you see, when a man and a woman ...

Oh yes, of course, I know what you mean. Don't get shirty with me.

You see, Fiyero never woke up to my face; I always woke up to his. I always left him in the mornings, quickly and silently. I'd long before learned to be stealthy.

I disappeared to a cold grey building not too far from the loft. It was indiscrete- it had to be, a secret organization can't exactly be painted purple (or _green_).

I worked there against the Wizard.

I worked there for Animals.

You don't need to know all the details; you don't need to know every mission.

There is only one that matters, only one that will ever matter.

It was on Lurline's Eve. Fiyero wanted to spend it together, though he knows I don't celebrate it.

I told him I couldn't. He mentioned the "organization" I said I was working for. I simply frowned, as per usual, and then swiftly told him to mind his own business.

Before he could say anything else, I'd rattled off my long list of things not to do that day. They can be summed up by simply "go find a hotel and don't go outside."

He didn't listen.

He feared for me. I assured him I wasn't the killer. I assured him I couldn't do anything like that.

I lied.

My mission was to kill Madame Morrible in the square.

But she'd brought the schoolchildren with her.

Damn her. I couldn't ... not in front of ... or maybe I just couldn't do it.

Oh, yes, later I could. What does anything matter now?

I hated myself for it. I hate myself still - but for so much more.

I could feel him, his eyes across my back, heating my very core. I knew he was with me in the square; I could pinpoint his exact location - possibly in feet - of his body on the steps across from where I stood in the square.

I disappeared from his view when I saw his eyes turn to watch Madame Morrible disappear with her Shiz students into a building nearby.

If only, if only, if only I hadn't left him. Maybe I could have ... oh, what did he think of me then? So spitefully willing to kill! So hateful.

I know he made his way back to my loft. I'd sat in a cafe for several hours, trying to stop my trembling body from overloading.

When I went home - home, I called it when he was there -

I can't breathe, love, I can't breathe. Don't look at me ... oh, God ...

Red, red, I'd always hated red.

It was _everywhere_.

Fiyero always wore a silver ring, marked only with a blue diamond. It laid next to Malky ...

Oh, Malky ...

Eat me up, saltwater, throw me into the fireplace. Kill me now.

--

A/N: I realized many of you had commented about my use of musical-Fiyeroness in the last chapter, and I apoligize if that was a little bit out of the context and character I've created her. I had meant to go back in and edit that out after I'd written it, but I guess I never got around to it. In any case, I realize I've also made many mistakes in relevance to the book, and I apologize for this ... I haven't read the book in _ages_, and my friend decided she'd like to borrow it for months on end. I just got it back yesterday, and will be edited all following chapters. Oh, and I will warn you further - this is based completely on the book, but I have thrown in a little of my own stuff and a little from the musical (really, I'm not sure there's much of anything more in the next chapters.) so...there you are. xD I'm sorry for any confusion and whatnot.

**Annibelle White -** Thank you, I'm very happy you like the first-personness ... it all flowed out for some reason. I wrote this all in the span of a month or so.As mentioned above,mistakes in characterization will be fixed shortly. I guess you're right about their talking, but I just felt like Elphaba didn't want to talk much - like Yero mostly had to drag it out of her, she was so secretive.

**IamTheWitch** - Oh, thank you, I'm glad you liked it:) I understand what you mean ;)

**elphabathedelirious32 -** The chapter title is from "Paper Bag" by Fiona Apple. And yes, Minuet is the title in accordance with Idina's song. And wow, it made you cry? Don't be sad! That's so touching, I'm glad you were moved.

**Lillian Townsend -** Hmm, no, I've never heard of her.

**Thessaly-** Thank you very much. Yes, I agree that they are completely different ... I was surprised at how they changed Fiyero in the musical so drastically.


	9. A Saint

I went crazy.

There is no other way to put it.

For a year I blacked out all the pain that's inside this mangled body, for a year I forgot. I lived as a walking corpse, a senseless person, a mute.

I don't remember that year.

So that is why I was so unsure of Liir. Who was this boy, this child they made come with me when I left the mauntery?

Oh, the mauntery?

Yes. I lived in a mauntery for seven years.

The Unnamed God plagues me perpetually, trying to stuff a soul into this battered body.

After I saw the blood, and Malky ... my dear, precious Malky ...

I don't remember after that.

Why can't I remember my belly stretching into a green expanse, the incredible pain (or so I've heard) of pushing a small child out of me and into this damned, incapable world?

Is that why I'm such a horrible mother?

Fiyero would have been a wonderful father to Liir. Liir would have loved him so, loved him, loved him...

So delirious. My head is aching.

I didn't see Liir much in the mauntery. I lived there as a "Sister". "Sister Saint Aelphaba" they called me, when I finally decided to speak. Before that ... I don't know. Green girl. Strange girl. The one who entered in blood and haze, the one with the child that looks so normal for a mother like her.

My name. Did I ever tell you? My Nanny named me, for my parents could not stand to. They didn't want me to be official, to be real. Without a name I was a mirage who appeared and downed food, who cried when they would not pick me up.

Nanny was the first person to accept me for what I am. I loved her, but I left her alone too.

My name is from the Saint Aelphaba, like "Galinda" from "Saint Glinda." Just like that. Elphaba- Aelphaba.

My whole life is an irony festival.

Saint Aelphaba walked through a waterfall and lived behind it for all her life.

I shiver at the thought of a raindrop.

So Sister Saint Aelphaba I was, until I came to my senses enough to declare that I had to leave.

I had to find Sarima, Fiyero's wife.

All I wanted was forgiveness!

But_ why_?

Damn. I should be in pain. Curse me. Curse me, the Unnamed God has tried, he has won. But I'd so like to die. He won't let me.

Don't cry! It's useless, my dear.

The day I left they sent Liir along with me in the carriage. Then I finally understood.

He was my son.

And I had a part of Fiyero back.


	10. Kiamo Ko

**Chapter 10 - "Kiamo Ko"**

I could never quite love Liir like a mother should, but in my own way I recognized him as my son, putting him higher in my quickly shrinking heart.

I thought I could perhaps be better at life, deal with this shorthand I've been given, if only I was forgiven for Fiyero's death. I did not believe in the Unnamed God, I did not want his silent forgiveness, so there was only Sarima to go to.

When I first reached the castle ... well, I was quite a sight, I suppose. Showing up all green and stony cold in the eyes, weathered and looking as if life just didn't matter anymore. With a trailing of Liir, so young, carrying my bags if only to get some sort of reaction from me. It was raining and I was stuffed tight into my cloak with my hat fixed on top of my head, making sure not a drop touched my sensitive skin. Behind Liir trotted a dog we had acquired during our travels - the animal was very devoted to him.

I held Chistery under my cloak. He was a baby monkey that the dog had tried to attack a few days before we'd reached the castle. Chistery was my new pet, not quite replacing Malky but comforting all the same.

And then, there were the bees.

I guess I'm good with animals. It was a strange talent of mine. I had coaxed some bees to come with me, for honey, of course.

And the crows, too, the crows the Elephant Princess gave me.

I was officially disguised as a Witch.

Despite appearances, one of Sarima's sisters - I forget who, they were all named after numbers and impossible to keep track of - let me in. Apparently, guests were honored and very readily accepted in Kiamo Ko.

Especially if they were single males.

When I first petitioned Sarima and told her of my connection with Fiyero - oh, no, don't look so scandalized! I only said we were college friends. 

Well, anyway, she refused to hear me out. I don't know why, she was stubborn and unruly. Her refusal to hear me out angered me so. I think she'd of been better off to know.

Or maybe that's selfish.

I wouldn't tell her my name. It seemed so distant to me then, it was someone else.

So she told her sisters and children to call me "Auntie".

Nor, Irji, and Manek - her ...and Fiyero's ... children, they began to call me "Auntie Witch". Liir took it up too.

As you can imagine, I just loved that. ... Little brats.

Since she would not listen to me, I vowed to stay at the castle until she would. They gladly accepted, giving me free choice of rooms. I chose a far one in a high tower, away from them. Liir slept wherever, whenever, I didn't worry about him.

I know, I know, it's shameful to me.

I lived there for so long; it became almost a home to me. But nothing was solid; nothing would be real again, until I found what I was looking for.

The problem was, I had no idea what I wanted to find.


	11. Destroy

**A/N:** Wow...I don't really know how long it's been since I've touched this story. But I got a weird feeling today... and since I have all of this written and stored away, I decided to post it for you guys. I've moved on from Wicked. I still love it, but my life is so different now from what it used to be... I'm performing almost all the time now, or riding my horse, and I've found what I truly love is dance, so I've come to love musicals like Thoroughly Modern Millie and CATS now...but I thought I'd tie up this loose end if anyone out there still wanted to read it. Enjoy. 3

**Chapter 11 - "Destroy"**

I don't think Liir knew why he had be ushered to go with me. He didn't know me - he was still shy and bumbling around me, a child around an adult he barely recognized.

The other children pestered him relentlessly. He hadn't grown up properly, with love and care and attention ... and education. He was a bit dim, and he wanted friendship. They were so cruel to him, sometimes I couldn't bare it.

Most of the time I ignored it.

I'm terrible, terrible, terrible.

I never felt guilty about not loving him. Not until he nearly died, of course. It was almost like loosing Fiyero again - my head was reeling and I was dying, dying. I couldn't breathe, thinking he wouldn't make it.

You see - the children had decided to play "Hide & Seek".

And Manek, being the cruel, horrible brat he was - he told Liir to sit in the well bucket and lowered him down. "Nor would not find him there"

No, she wouldn't, but something would.

He forgot. Manek forgot about my only son! Sitting down in the dark, truly believing that Manek was going to come and save him. What a dull boy, always believing in heroes.

I don't know what it was that made him imagine the Magic Carp. Maybe it was the near frost-bite, his breath slowing and his heart nearly stopping.

Or maybe, just maybe, the Carp was real.

Where else would Liir get the notion that Fiyero was his father?

Scoffed at by Sarima, her sisters, her children and my childhood Nanny, who had recently come to live with us.

But I knew the truth. Mouth hanging open, I blatantly blamed Liir's "insane" words on his near-death experience and carried him to my very own bed where I tucked in as many blankets as I could find around him.

I watched over him the entire night.

I think I found out that being a mother was not so bad at all, no, no, it wasn't.

My sweet little Liir, must think I've really gone mad for all of Oz to hate me as it does now. Even Boq, and probably Fiyero up above as he may be.

Manek died a week after Liir's incident.

The anger burned within me, burned into the core of a very sharp icicle, which incidentally Manek was walking under.

Oh, it wasn't my fault! Oh, no!

A little while after that I received a letter from Frex, who'd from Nanny found out where I was residing. He begged me to come to Colwen Gardens - he thought I could "Help" Nessa.

Stupidly, I went.

All she wanted was for me to be some sort of pawn in her political tyranny.

I refused, told her I'd missed her, and marveled at her shoes.

Those shoes, they haunt me even now! Frex had given them to her during our residency at Shiz. They were beautiful, so, so beautiful - obviously a sign of deep love and devotion.

My hands dug into the box, green meeting the tan color of shavings, hoping to maybe find such a sign for myself.

No such luck.

I was so bitter. I am so bitter, like a lemon. Or a lime, I suppose would be more accurate - I think I'm a little more green, though.

As if to make my longing for the shoes worse, Glinda had no enchanted them so that Nessa could walk on her own! It was really amazing, seeing Nessa reach her true potential - she was tragically beautiful, Nessarose.

Nessa laughed at me, for wanting them so. She laughed and said she'd leave them to me in her will.

So they were mine! Don't you understand?

Whether it was love for my sister, want for my father's love, or pure anger - I wanted those damned shoes! I needed them. I was so foolish, so selfish, but I could think of nothing else.

And ... isn't it funny...

I'd once remarked to dear Fiyero how I couldn't just get on a broom and fly around Oz.

How ironic, and yet again I must use that word.

In the Mauntery, there'd been a woman named Yackle. Old Mother Yackle. She'd given me a broom - magical properties, she said.

I didn't believe her until sneaky - yet, kind enough - Nor had barged into my room while I'd been eating lunch with Nanny. She'd gotten on the broom for some reason - childish games - and it had begun to fly her wildly out through the window, around the castle.

I finally spotted her from the window, you know, and it made me so angry to see her fooling with my things! But my shock at the broom's flight...

I just yelled at her to get down, and the broom like a loyal puppy shot straight down to me.

Amazing, isn't it? I defy gravity now.

As I was flying back to Kiamo Ko from the 'family' visit, winds rushing through my raven-colored hair, harsh against my eyes, my stomach suddenly twisted.

I'd always had strange prophecies throughout my life. They were never exactly visions, never exactly just "feelings". They were ... they were certainties.

And I knew, I knew without a doubt ... when I finally reached Kiamo Ko, I'd return to another destroyed life.

**  
**


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